Finally I'm connected!!!!

So long story short, I've been without Internet for 4 miserable days and now I am finally CONNECTED!!!!! Talk about feeling like I'm missing an arm of something....how did we do things before this fancy invention??? Oh that's right, snail mail, writing checks, GOING to stores to shop, waiting for a phone call from our loved ones, the agony of it all.

I feel so lucky (and I do mean LUCK cuz honestly I don't know how I fixed it!) and very relieved to be functioning again.....now off to my therapist to cry about it and the mountain of other very random, stressful sh*t that's bogging me down.....

Now where's that damn Calgone??? Or my ruby red shoes????

The best Christmas present ever!

Last night I was laying with T in his bed and we were talking about Christmas Eve......this year since the boys and I won't be together for the actually Christmas day we are having our Christmas Eve tonight. Santa got the heads up a long time ago.....

Anyway, he and I were talking about leaving cookies and milk out for Santa and carrots for the reindeer, it was so exciting to hear him talk about it all, but then we talked about the actual day of Christmas and how we wouldn't be together.

You see, he goes to see his dad in California plus the entire Casillas clan. There are sooo many people to keep T busy and entertained (not to mention SPOILED) that he doesn't have time to miss me and he never has before. He looks forward to the visits with his dad so much you'd thing that I didn't even exist....but just as I think he's going to get all excited about seeing his dad he wraps his body around my arm and says, "I don't want to go, I want to stay with you!". This made my heart soar, I cannot even begin to tell you how much that meant to me to have him want to be with me (and Nick too) over Christmas. It's depressing to not have him close for so long and it's hard on N too.

So my best Christmas gift this year was knowing that T wants to be with me.......

I love you

What is it about getting older that changes the value of these three words??? Have you noticed that the meaning has changed for you???

I hear my 6 year old say it and I wonder how he determines love. Is it because I make him chocolate chip cookies or because I help him with homework?

I find that I am realizing that the time here on earth is short and I need to tell all the people that matter to me just how much I care. It's important that we all know that we are loved and not just by our own 6 year olds or our moms but by the people we share everyday issues with. I love all my girlfriends. There are a handful that are really near and dear to my heart and I am so thankful to have them in my life.

I have begun to feel a lose for my brother and his family and my sister. And the rest of the clan.

So there, I love so many for so many reasons.

Life is short, tell someone today that you love them and that their life matters to you.

Nutcrackers and Snoopy

Seriously, I need to get a life! I have been picking my own brain for two days (no shit) on something to blog about. It's really quite sad.

Let's see, I finish a great book, Wicked. It the life and times of the Wicked Witch of the West and her point of view on things. I'd give it a 4 out of 5 stars. The same author also wrote novels for the point of view of the witch from Snow White called Mirror, Mirror and there's also the ugly step sister's point of view from Cinderella, but I don't remember the title. I'll be trekking to Barnes and Nobel probably Friday if anyone would like to join me.

I have started a scrap book for my grandmother for Christmas. It's family letters about my grandmother and what she has meant to them......currently I am have a creative block so I'm just "forgetting" about it.......

The boys are addicted to Wii, N loves Indiana Jones and T is kickin some serious bootie on Lego Batman. I'm very impressed (I know, good mothering skills). They are also fascinated with Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin....N says he's Snoopy and insists that T is Charlie Brown but T says he likes Pig-Pin (I'm so proud).

I had T sitting in the kitchen while I baked cookies today and he did his homework ( he needs a very watchful eye). He began to have deep thoughts about our Nutcracker (it's a Baker, complete with a tray of fresh baked bread and a Christmas cookie).........T, in his all mighty wisdom asks me, "Mom, does this Nutcracker have to nut on this cookie it's holding?" To which I reply, "Nooooo, Nutcrackers don't "nut" on anything, they crack nuts". Being that you all know me so well I really had to hold my tongue at the "nut" comment but I think that I did a decent job of explaining the purpose of a Nutcracker to the poor lad.

So, yeah, that sums up the fun here. Just so you know, I did not eat a single chocolate chip cookie nor did I sample the dough. I made those cookies for T and T alone (ask me in a couple days if I've changed my mind!).

Ah to be a creative genius like Beth....sigh
Peace out

Having withdrawls...feeling faint.....

Oh I guess I'm missing the daily antics of Ms Beth (or at lease SOMEONE could blog for Pete's sake!).

It's been a pretty busy week here in the Kruse house. But I'd rate it a good one and a fast one, I just LOVE when time flies and Dave is gone....huh, that came out kinda wrong. Whatever.

I've finished the Christmas cards, joined the neighborhood watch, saved my dog from the paroles of the fence, bought my mysterious exchange gift, cleaned like mad and even stirred the hornet's nest here on Bailey St. I'd say overall I am a jack of all trade, master of none.

I am so looking forward to tomorrow nights fro lick and fun...but I'm even more excited for our 1/2 way there trip to Austin-WHOOT WHOOT!!!!!

I guess that just about sums it up......life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in awhile you might miss it!

By far

As thankful that I am for all that I have in my life this weekend BY FAR has been the most depressing in the time the guys have been gone.

I am very low right now.......I don't know if it's because T is with his dad or because all the girls got to see family this weekend and I didn't but man oh man, I am in the dumps.

I had posted on facebook that I wished it was Monday and my sister in law thought I was nuts. It's like for the past 6 months I've been trying to live everyday in fast forward and this weekend feels like someone hit SLOW MOTION for me. Every minute that goes by it feels like 10.

February cannot come fast enough....this SHIT sucks!

So many different thoughts.....

I need to blog this out before all my thoughts flitter away.....

I was having a moment driving back from the gym this morning about this army life. I've been living it for almost 11 years. I enlisted in January of '98 and was in the delayed entry program until March of '98 when I left for basic training. I had some really good years working for Uncle Sam and some really bad ones too. I am blessed to have served and I feel even more blessed to serve as an army wife. It may not have been God's plan for me to a "lifer" but I feel that He wanted me to have a true understanding of my husbands job and lifestyle. I guess it was a 7 year college course on the army.

There was another flashback I had. On December 3rd I would have shared my 10th wedding anniversary with my first husband. Now that marriage was doomed before it even started but I was so young (22) and DUMB! It makes me giggle to think of being married to someone for 10 years......thank God I gotta away from that one!

And here on the home front, present time, I have had the joy of cleaning up three piles of dog poo and one wet bed! I really don't understand why the dogs and the kids work together like this but it's just so......frustrating, annoying, humbling....you name it. I also sliced open my thumb yesterday and doing the simplest of tasks is very difficult. ARG!!!!! Are the guys home yet???? WAAAAAA!!!!!! I need my honey!